


Separate Lives

by genagirl



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First Times, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 05:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genagirl/pseuds/genagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair challenges Jim to a day spent apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Separate Lives

Disclaimer: Jim and Blair aren't mine, but I do borrow them from time to time. 

One size fits most. Void in some states. Restrictions do apply. Always read the warnings.

Warning:....why are you reading this. You should be reading the story.

*****

**Separate Lives**

by

Gena

"We do not!"

"We do too," Blair Sandburg maintained. 

"Sandburg," Jim ran a hand over his brow and frowned at his partner, "we do not spend all our time together." He finished stirring the stew and set about dishing it up as he thought about Blair's words.

"Jim, name one time we haven't been together since we met," Blair persisted. 

Ellison concentrated, "January, Chief."

It was Blair's turn to frown, he flicked through his memory, trying to decided when in January they hadn't...."wait a minute," he snapped, "we are not counting any time I've spent in a hospital. I'm talking about voluntary separation, not courtesy of psycho criminals shooting at me."

"Well be specific, Sandburg," Jim said sweetly and swatted his friend on the head. "Now eat!" Blair grinned and sat down opposite him. The two men ate in silence for a moment then Jim looked up, "does it bother you?" He went back to eating, his attention seemingly riveted on the food while he listened to his roommate's heart speed up.

"No!" Blair reached over, his hand warm against Jim's skin. "No, I'm not complaining. I was just thinking about it is all." He suddenly noticed he still held Jim's wrist and let go, "I just wondered if it was some kind of Sentinel thing." He shrugged.

"Maybe," Jim hedged. What Blair said was true, they hadn't been apart for more than a few days since they'd met, and most of those had been because one or the other was in the hospital. But he didn't want to confess to the contentment which washed over him as long as Blair was beside him. Part of his had to do with his senses, zoning out was a real hazard but he was a grown man, a man who had spent most of his life on his own, he didn't need the kid with him every single moment of the day to make him happy. No he didn't need Blair beside him, but he wanted him there. Jim gulped his stew, hoping his partner hadn't noticed the way his hand suddenly trembled as he lifted the spoon. He wanted Blair with him all the time, not just when he was using his senses, not just when he had paperwork to do, not just when he wanted to talk. He wanted Blair Sandburg beside him every minute of every day. Maybe it was to do with his Sentinel abilities, whenever Blair was nearby Jim felt relaxed. He felt as if the world had an order and he had his place in it. He could be himself and not worry about failing anyone or falling short of some expected standard. Blair didn't judge him, Blair made no demands except for his friendship and that Jim gave readily.

"Look, tomorrow is Saturday. Let's.....let's make a conscious effort not to spend it together," Blair suggested timidly. Jim fought his first instinct - to yell NO as loud as he could, and went about methodically swallowing his dinner. His hearing picked up Blair's rise in heartrate and when he looked up at his partner he saw the worry in his blue eyes.

"Okay," Jim agreed. He didn't have to have Blair beside him, he could prove it, too. "Okay, tomorrow we each do whatever we want. No trying to pick something we both will like, no heading out to the court for a little b-ball, no arguing over what movie to rent or where to eat. Alone or with other people all day."

"Midnight," Blair suggested. 

"Deal." Jim reached out and grasped Blair's hand in his. He tried not to think about the comfort he derived from the contact, he refused to admit that his dependence on the other man had reached the point it had. He suspected Saturday would be very lonely for at least one of them. Unlike himself, Blair had tons of friends he could spend his day with and this enforced divorce wouldn't be hard for him.

**

Saturday dawned sunny and warm. Jim turned over as the first rays of light caressed his back and smiled. The weekend! Some times he thought it would never come, not when every criminal in Cascade went out of his or her way to make the work week hell on James Ellison. But not today, today he and Blair could.....Jim froze, his mind playing back the conversation he and his roommate had had the evening before. He and Blair were spending the day apart, asserting their independence from each other.

"Might as well get started," Jim muttered to himself. He tossed the sheet back and headed downstairs to shower. As he passed Blair's room he heard the faint shivering sounds which told him his partner had flopped over sometime during the night and his blankets were a mess at the end of his bed. Ellison paused, almost giving into his habit to step inside the room and cover Blair against the slight chill of the loft, but he squared his shoulders and hurried to the bathroom. His shower was long and hot, something he rarely got to indulge in because their weekends usually involved getting dressed quickly and hurrying to some activity they had planned. Not today, today he could do as he pleased and if Sandburg had to make do with cold water....well, this was his idea anyway.

When Ellison emerged twenty minutes later, he wasn't surprised to find Blair still slumbering. He again hesitated outside the smaller room, debating whether to check on his partner or not, finally reining in his rampant protector instincts and heading for his room. It wasn't until he was outside the loft, standing on the sidewalk in the sunshine, that Jim realized he didn't know what he wanted to do.

**

Blair shivered and opened his eyes. His blankets were tangled together around his feet and his hands felt like ice. He frowned at the mess for a moment, puzzled as to why today he would kick the blankets off when every other morning he woke securely covered and warm. He gave up figuring the puzzle out and sat up. He could see sunlight tracing along the floor and smiled. He loved a sunny weekend. Usually he could talk Jim into some fun; a ball game, a fishing trip, he'd even gotten his roommate to visit the zoo one afternoon though it hadn't turned out well. Jim couldn't stand to see the animals in cages no matter how much Blair tried to explain preservation and education. Still, he'd learned a lot about his partner from the experience and they'd grown closer from it. Today he wondered if he could talk Jim into visiting the Museum of Natural History, there was a new exhibit on minerals and if he played his cards right he might be able to get Jim to use his senses to distinguish between the gathered.....damn! today was Operation Separation. 

It hadn't started out as a capital letter type of thing. A chance remark by Simon Banks had gotten him started thinking about his and Jim's relationship. Simon had accused them of being joined at the hip, saying they never went anywhere anymore without the other. Giving it a bit of thought, Blair had realized the truth in the captain's words. Very few days had gone by in the three years of their partnership that he wasn't right beside Ellison. It had never occurred to him in all that time, just how much time he and the cop spent together. Except for the days he was at the university, they were together twenty four hours aday. They got up at the same time, had breakfast, went to work at the station, ate dinner, spent the evening talking and then went to bed. In all those hours, in all those days, in all those years they'd had very few disagreements. 

Blair let his mind wander back, picking out a few of the fights he'd had with the older man. Usually it was something small, who used the last of the milk without buying more, who had forgotten to pay the water bill, a few times it had been serious. Their worst disagreements usually had the same root - Jim had ordered him to do something and Blair had ignored it. Jim had this huge protective streak, one which put Blair's safety first even above his own. Sandburg had quickly come to realize that his own protective instincts were just as sharp as Jim's, and when the two hindered each man's actions they tended to butt heads.

But their fights had never interfered with their spending time together. After a few hours of frosty silence, one or the other would cave in and make a peace offering. Both men had come to realize that their friendship was stronger than any disagreement and that the occasional fight was to be expected. What Blair hadn't expected was the depth of the isolation he'd feel when he and Jim were arguing or the lengths to which he'd go to avoid it. Being with Jim was the best feeling he'd every had. It was like being totally accepted as a human. Jim knew everything about him and still wanted him close. When he'd found Ellison he hadn't just found his Sentinel, he'd found his brother, his best friend, his soul mate. He felt a completeness he'd never felt before whenever he and Ellison were together. The niggling question as to whether this was because of their Sentinel/Guide relationship or something....deeper nagged Blair. He'd determined to investigate the question and decide exactly what he and Jim were to each other. Getting Jim to agree had proved harder than he'd anticipated. Ellison hadn't wanted to admit that a certain dependence had sprung up between them. 

But it was there. Blair sighed and swung his feet to the floor. He could tell by the slight echo that Jim had already left. At least he wasn't letting this experiment ruin his day. Knowing Jim, he'd meet Simon for breakfast then wander off on his own. Blair knew Jim had friends, it just seemed as if his partner were content to be solitary. He'd lead a very Spartan existence before Blair's arrival and being alone had never seemed to bother the cop. Part of it might have had to do with his Sentinel abilities, suppressed or not, loud noises had always bothered him as had crowds of people. He'd once told Blair about getting ill during a concert when he was a teenager; the smoke and heat and noise had combined to make him so sick he'd spent the night in the parking lot just so his father wouldn't find out he'd wasted the $50 he'd spent on tickets.

Unlike Jim, who didn't mind being on his own, Blair detested isolated activities. He liked to be with others, sharing, learning and growing from the experiences. He headed for the shower already running a list of friends he could call but somehow the feeling that he was wasting his weekend and all that sunlight niggled at the back of his mind. If this had been any other day he and Jim might have rented a boat and motored along the coast. Blair sighed, it was no good thinking about what he and Jim could be doing, the fact was he'd been the one to enforce this separation so he'd have to live with it. Cold water blasting along his naked body, robbed Blair of any other thoughts except, "damn it, Jim!"

**

Jim munched the second donut as he wandered through the park. Chocolate frosting stuck to his lip and he had to stretch his tongue up to capture it. "Always fancied myself with a mustache," he said aloud, turning to gauge Blair's reaction. The chipmunk scurrying along had no comment about the subject. Jim watched it scamper away and the feeling of wrongness which had accompanied him from the loft settled further down inside him. "This is stupid," he muttered and reached for the final donut in his bag. He didn't want it but habit had forced him to buy three donuts, two for him and one for Sandburg, "guess that means an extra hour at the gym." He crumpled the bag, tossed the sweet away after one bite and headed for his truck.

The gym wasn't that far but Jim didn't feel like strolling along today. Usually he enjoyed window-shopping, Blair had comments on everything they passed. Once in a while Jim found if he watched his partner closely when they were engaged in this frivolous activity, he could pin down something Blair really wanted. The first year he'd shared holidays with the young anthropologist, it had been hell to discover a present the kid would like. Blair enthused over so many things, not all of them sincerely and Jim found he couldn't decipher when Blair was being Blair and when he saw something he liked. It had taken a little while but finally Jim had decoded his partner's behavior; if Sandburg's gaze flicked back to the object for one last glance, if his face relaxed but his heart rate increased slightly, he made a mental note to add it to his list. The fact that he kept this list, adding and subtracting as his partner scraped up money to buy something he desired, had never struck Jim as odd. When married to Carolyn, his Christmas and birthday shopping had been confined to the day before and whatever he could find at the mall. Somehow pleasing her, getting the light to shine in her eyes had never really mattered. Jim paused just before entering the gym, why did making Blair smile make him feel warm inside?

**

"This is fantastic," Blair muttered again. He glanced up, ready to launch into a mini-lecture at the drop of Jim's soft question but there was no question. He heaved another sigh, the fifth in five minutes and turned back to the book he'd been meaning to read since the library sent him the last overdue notice. It was a good book and he found the subject matter really interesting, the only problem was that Jim would have liked it too. Oh, Ellison pretended to be bored by his friend's interest but many afternoons Blair had found himself teaching his class all over again as Jim asked question after question. Jim was one of the smartest men Blair had ever met and he'd gone out of his way to demonstrate the fact to Blair. It had almost seemed as if he feared Sandburg judging him all brawn and no brain, as if it had happened all too often before. Blair had come to realize that his partner's main concern was whether Blair, himself, saw his partner as intelligent. Though Ellison knew little of anthropology he'd taken to reading Blair's texts so he would understand what it was that was being spouted in his apartment. The gesture and the self satisfaction in Jim's eyes had made Blair happier than anything else ever had.

He tried reading aloud, filling the silence with his own voice. It didn't work. Jim wasn't there. He'd grown used to having his partner to bounce ideas off, to question his theories, to tease him unmercifully. No teasing comments, no exasperate retorts, no one making him look at things in a different light met his words. "I gotta get out of here," Sandburg told the plants. "I could be......doing something." He snagged his jacket and keys, locked the door and headed out. He thought about heading to the university and getting some work done, but the day called for relaxation not research. He wondered along Prospect, gazing into shop windows. There was a Native crafts store on the corner he favored and paused there to peruse the new stock of necklaces and charms. His hand crept up to finger the carved fetish he wore on a leather thong. The small figure represented more than strength and protection, it represented friendship and belonging. Jim had presented it to him just five months ago, a Christmas present he would always cherish. He had no idea how the cop did it, but Jim had the uncanny ability to pick out gifts he truly adored. Must be the Sentinel thing, he probably noticed a rise in temperature, or increased respiration, or something. Thoughts of Jim filled his mind as he moved down the street. He found himself wondering what his partner was doing, how he was faring on his own. 

**

Jim stopped counting after the sixth person asked where Blair was....no, they asked where his sidekick was. Jim hadn't even realized the gym-rats knew Sandburg was his.....sidekick. Blair, when he came to the gym, usually wandered around talking to people. He'd said something about stereotypical behavior and male-bonding and Jim had given up on him. His goal had been getting the kid to work out - his body - not his mind, but Sandburg didn't see things the same way he did. Which was good, Jim reasoned, or their partnership would be a very dull one.

And their partnership was anything but dull, if they weren't dealing with his sentinel abilities, they were embroiled in some case or getting themselves into trouble. Twenty-four hours a day they put up with each other and only a few times they had ever really fought. With Sandburg 24 hours didn't seem like a long time at all, they fit together naturally, their thoughts and actions meshing into one complete entity despite, or maybe because of, their differences. Ellison had never experienced that with anyone else. All his life he'd felt like a broken cog, the whole machine jammed whenever he took his place in line. His friends had all been external, people he talked to, worked with, played with, but never let inside. Blair was an internal friend, he knew Jim's secrets, his thoughts and feelings in a way no one else had ever bothered to. Sandburg had become a constant, his physical presence so ingrained on Jim's senses that it's absence hurt like a missing rib, or a chunk of heart ripped from his chest.

"This is stupid," Jim growled, "I don't care about his experiment." He tossed his clothes into his bag and headed back to the loft. If he hurried he and Blair could have a late lunch and still catch the World of Wheels at the Civic Center.

**

Blair glanced at his watch - 1PM, five hours since he and Jim had begun Operation Separation. Why did it seem like five years? It had been a stupid idea, he knew that now. What he was feeling now had little to do with Jim's sentinel abilities and everything to do with Jim. Gazing at himself in the mirror of a shop window, he heard his own voice repeating the words he'd said months ago *It's about friendship*. It was - friendship, partnership, loyalty and commitment and love. Blair smiled at the bemused creature gazing back at him - yep, love. "The operation was successful, doctor," he whispered, "but the patient died." He began to laugh and might have gone on laughing for the rest of his life but at that moment a familiar blue and white Ford truck glided by.

"Sandburg, get your butt in this truck," Jim yelled. Blair scurried to comply, giving his smiling reflection a wink. 

"Where we going?" He asked as he climbed into the cab beside Ellison. He resisted the urge to throw himself into the other man's arms but was completely content when Jim reached over and patted his cheek.

"World of Wheels."

"Jim!" Blair grinned, taking up the gauntlet and running with it, "we're going to spend the day guzzling beer and eating hot-dogs among macho types trying to impress each other with the size of their engines?"

Jim gave him a speculative look, blue eyes sparkling, "They've got the Batmobile on display."

"Cool!" Operation Separation became a moot point, lost amid the contentment their friendship brought to each, and the amount of beer they consumed before calling Simon to haul their inebriated backsides to the loft. 

They spent Sunday together as well.

End


End file.
